Do you know what to do if someone says "I might have been sexually assaulted"?
Surrounding a victim in safety, trust, and support within the first 24 hours to 3 months can significantly increase their chances of healing and reduce the risk of developing PTSD.*
The 3Es
SAFR First Aid Kit
Receive this call to action even after the moment has passed.
Provide assistance to the survivor in accessing resources and support.
Help them understand their options for medical care, advocacy. If they want a companion, you can go along with them to a hospital, an appointment, or a support option.
Why First Aid?
As with any type of first aid, stocking our kits and knowing how to use the tools inside of them is a critical step in being prepared!
The most important thing we can do is to create safety in the moment when someone discloses or indicates a sexual harm that they have experienced.
For everything else, you can open your SAFR First Aid Kit!
Share accurate information about sexual harm, and trauma and response.
Contribute to creating a space where someone can experience what healing feelings like.
Combat negative messaging, misinformation, and myths about trauma or sexual harm.
Follow their lead and support them to integrate their present experience with tomorrow, the next day, or the long-term future.
Continue to show up the way you would if someone told you about a physical harm or illness, or was going through a hard time.
Let them know there is no 'expiry date' for your support!
We all know how to do help. Bring meals or groceries, send memes and supportive messages, have movie nights or bring activities to them as they integrate this experience into their life.
You can even see if they are interested in connecting with other survivors and support groups.
Continue to show up the way you would if someone told you about a physical harm or illness, or was going through a hard time.
Let them know there is no 'expiry date' for your support!
We all know how to do help. Bring meals or groceries, send memes and supportive messages, have movie nights or bring activities to them as they integrate this experience into their life.
You can even see if they are interested in connecting with other survivors and support groups.
Create Safety in the Moment
What To Say
1. "I’m here with you now for whatever you need. We can figure this out together."
2. "I’m so glad that you told me. I know that can be really hard."
What NOT To Say
1. "Try to calm down. At least it’s over!"
2.
"Let’s not think about it and just talk about something else."
Receive With Care
What To Say
1. "I am so sorry this happened to you and it's not at all your fault."
2. "I know this is so difficult and I want you to know that you are not alone in this."
Felt Message: This is not your fault and I am here to support you.
What NOT To Say
1. That person seems so nice! Are you sure they knew you didn’t want to…?
2. I knew you should not have stayed at that party! Why didn’t you leave with us?
Respect for Autonomy
What To Say
1. "I know it can be hard to decide what to do next. Only you know what makes sense and feels right for you. I’m here to walk alongside you, whatever you decide."
2. "It’s really amazing that you recognized that you need support and then reached out to get it. That’s not easy! What can I do in this moment to back you up?"
Felt Message: Any feelings you have are valid and you get to choose what is right for you. I’m here to help you navigate the challenging moments.
What NOT To Say
1. We HAVE to call the police immediately!!
2. Why aren’t you angry?! We have to go after them.
Felt Message: Your feelings are wrong, your response is wrong and you don’t know what is best for you.
Listen & Validate
What To Say
1. "I know it can be hard to decide what to do next. Only you know what makes sense and feels right for you. I’m here to walk alongside you, whatever you decide."
2. "It’s really amazing that you recognized that you need support and then reached out to get it. That’s not easy! What can I do in this moment to back you up?"
Felt Message: Any feelings you have are valid and you get to choose what is right for you. I’m here to help you navigate the challenging moments.
What NOT To Say
1. We HAVE to call the police immediately!!
2. Why aren’t you angry?! We have to go after them.
Felt Message: Your feelings are wrong, your response is wrong and you don’t know what is best for you.